Fortune, the central character in the new book, gave up on seeking companionship and turned to sperm donation.
Passover night becomes an experience in a dimension we did not know. The question of the covenant of circumcision raises probing questions.
In the Contento Now e-TV Studio, led by Netanel Semrik,the second book out of five in the process of publication, Mey-Tal Zion Sulema Malmed
Q: “A day of celebration in the midst of your journey to publication, with the birth of the baby, just like a kangaroo mom holding her new book. If you were to choose one moment in your life that is the most pivotal moment in your life, what would that moment be?”
A: “I believe that when I became a mother. The whole process from the moment I found out I was pregnant to this very day. Being a mother is a project that I wasn’t really convinced I was going for, but once the fact was established, I am a mom. Totally. Very much so.”
Q: “One picture that truly touched your heart?”
A: “Holding my babies, every time was that one picture, but it’s the same immediate moment when suddenly I become a mother to one, two, and then three. To embrace it. To understand it. That was the tough part.”
Q: “Tell me about the first time you realized it, that you absorbed it, that you were carrying the baby?”
A: “When I was carrying my daughter. She was the first. It was everything and nothing all at once. I had a daughter in my hands, she was mine, but I knew nothing about her. I knew nothing about myself. I, as the responsible adult, had to figure it out for both of us from now on. There’s no going back. No regrets. And it was very moving. Very powerful.””Last weekend, we were at the amusement park. My kids wanted to go, and I’m really not the Luna Park type, but I went on each of the rides they chose, and not all of them went on all the rides except for me. And I knew it was important to them that I be there.”
Q: “How scary is it from one to ten, this total commitment to life’s amusement park?”
A: “It’s not scary. On the contrary. Let’s say they’re growing up with me. They’re growing up with me until a certain age, and after all the psychologists who came to me with accusations, I proved to them exactly the opposite. And that frees me so much. The knowledge that I’m there to give this hand, to give that look, that smile, that encouragement, it’s much scarier to me that they’ll go on their own. My total commitment is about giving them the security that later on, they can do it on their own.”
Q: “And does this also manifest itself in sleeping with them and breastfeeding?”
A: “Yes, the moment they came out of my womb, I believe they need my closeness to feel me. I need their closeness to feel them. If the blanket falls, if they suddenly jump out of a dream, if they’re cold or hot, or if something happens, I’m there to lay a hand. I don’t need to hear them cry; just one touch of my hand, and they go back to deep sleep. It calms me, and it calms them. My whole life, I’m there until they say, ‘Mom, it’s okay, I can do it on my own,’ and that’s what I need. When they say that, I know we’ve passed a stage. Each of them, at the age of 12, finds their reason to move to their own bed and later to another room, and I think it’s great in my eyes.”
Q: “You say it’s great because there’s also something that closes a circle for you as a mother?”A: “As a daughter.”Q: “What do you mean?”
A: “That I wish someone could do for me what I do for my children; in my eyes, it’s a rectification.”
Q: “A rectification of what?”A: “That I needed it as a baby and as a child next to this one who would be placed on me. The ability to be close to a body and not to be alone. That’s the point.”
Q: “And when you needed it as a little girl, what did you experience?”
A: “I used to crawl into my parents’ bed, and it wasn’t received well. It was perceived as something ‘not okay.’ Many psychologists strongly oppose this move. If the child arrives, you give them a hug and take them back to bed. A child is born from a body, and they need a body next to them. It’s not logical that two adults sleep together, and a young child sleeps alone in a room. In my eyes, it looks a bit absurd, and that’s my perception. I see through my children and how they navigate the world that my way is not a mistake.”
Q: “From this baby, as if you’re a kangaroo mom holding it in your pouch, tell me how you created the characters.”
A: “Fortune is my grandmother’s name. Each of the characters has something from me, whether it’s an experience, part of the name, characteristics, or my beliefs. There are also contradictory opinions, of course, to create interest. But each of the characters has something from me that I found it right to bring together and create a complete story.”
Q: “Take me into one image that you would want the audience in Israel or the international audience to take into their hearts, from the new book that was born.”
A: “There are many images, but one of the important ones in my eyes is the image of the Passover Seder celebration. The Passover Seder is similar everywhere, but the interpretations that the characters provide and the explanations and the whole system there are somewhat different. They start with the songs, and then they continue with a presentation that the children there do. Everyone has their own place at the table, not just the head of the Seder or just reading the Haggadah and eating. There’s a whole ‘Preservation Night’ there that I really wish everyone celebrating the Passover Seder would experience in such a way. There are a lot of ideas in the story about how to do it.”
Q: “Give me one idea that you feel was born out of writing, creation, and the thousands of hours you struggled within them, that someone can take and adopt in their own life.”
A: “To read the Haggadah and do it one by one. There’s a complete description of how they arrange the tables there – the children have a separate table, the adults have a separate table, they wear comfortable and not too fancy clothes, everyone has a task around the table, and there are reading and interpretation sections that they can bring up during the Haggadah. After the meal, they go out to the yard, in their case, they have a yard, and continue the discussions about the Passover topics, and gradually move on to their own songs. It’s something that creates a very family atmosphere, it’s done in a very family framework, but it’s very light, there’s no emotional burden of who comes with whom, who’s sitting with whom, and who brought such or such a salad. It’s an atmosphere that I hope will be at every person’s table on Passover Seder because it’s really joyful there. The main meaning given to matzah is that matzah means reality. When you cut the matzah in half, it’s actually the need for a partnership, meaning two halves that need to find each other, and you choose the reality that suits you in this connection of the two halves of the Afikoman to become whole.”
Q: “It’s amazing because somehow in this image, two worlds merged precisely – the moment that moves in life, which is the merger between parental partnership, moments of birth, the moment you are as a daughter who comes to find the other half of your matzah with your parents, and sometimes you find yourself returned to your room looking for the emotional Afikoman, and now Passover Seder when you come and say the matzah is the desired reality by the people who come to feast and find more pieces beyond the crumbs.”
A: “Despite the crumbs that are scattered, still, there should be maximum adaptation between the two halves, and that’s what testifies to the completeness of one with the other.”
Q: “As someone who has written one book, there are several books that, like this one, towards the end of our meeting, I would like you to place them because they are also your children, each in their own process of formation. The first book that was born?”
A: “‘One in a Million,’ and it was published before the book ‘Fortuna.’ It also talks about relationships at a younger age, where a young couple meets, and they understand that it’s not the right time for them, but it seems like they are meant for each other, and each goes on a personal journey of their own until they randomly meet again after a few years when they were not in contact. They realize they are meant to be together. They also have their relationship systems, reflections of their relationship in various aspects through their respective family members, each with their own story.”
Q: “And there are also other children in the advanced stages of pregnancy. Give us a glimpse into the future delivery room and the labor?”
A: “There is ‘Memories of Shlomo’ about King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, according to the story they have a common child named Menalik. The book is very faithful to the scriptures, with emotional additions that I have included, and again, it is entirely based on texts from the Hebrew Bible and external books and midrashim that I found. There is the book that follows, called ‘Stars in Their Own Right,’ which is about women from the Hebrew Bible, some of them well-known, and some less known, such as the wife of Noah, the wife of Joseph, the wife of Lot, Hagar, Sarah, Rachel, and Leah. I tried to find as many as possible, and there are 18 characters.”
Q: “What is unique about the book from your perspective? Do they all have it?”
A: “In this case, they simply tell their life story in contrast to the angels who receive them after their death. We know from the Bible, in the best case, perhaps one sentence or a few words about each of the characters, even from the more famous ones like Sarah and Hagar. We know very little about their private lives, and I created complete lives for them from the moment they were born until their deaths in the biblical story. Some of them didn’t even have names in the Bible. In the Bible, we don’t know the names of Noah’s wife and Joseph’s wife. There is a testimony to Beruria the Tannaite, the wife of Rabbi Akiva, Rachel, and even Miriam the Magdalene (Mary Magdalene), who was Jesus’ spouse. The last baby, ‘The Name is Moses,’ is about a contemporary woman’s communication with Moses our teacher, where she testifies to speak in his name. The time has come for women today to express the vision and prophecy that he presented to the people of Israel and the whole world, with interpretations she provides him about where the things he wrote came from, and he tells her what his original intention was, hoping it will shed light on many confusing issues today, lack of understanding, and certainly far from reaching a consensus.”
Q: “In the special picture we are creating today, as usual at the end of the meeting and interview, a sentence of your insight that is relevant from this chapter and the pivotal moment and the magical book named after your grandmother?”
A: “I think what guided me throughout the writing of all the books is to create some kind of unity, some connection, that can fit all people in the world, to see the human side, to see the difficulty against the solution and this guidance, even within a mother. When I convey my knowledge in the books, I want to create this clarity because it’s what actually allows connection. There is clarity, there is connection.”
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Website: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwZ7nrSoWhg